MOCII - Rules and Regulations
by Lagiacrus
Summary: Takes place just after Chapter 11 of 'The Misadventures of Caroline II'. Wheatley and Caroline II discuss the effects of the Resonance Cascade and the Combine Invasion as well as the impact it has had on them - all while poor little Wheatie tries to avoid looking where he shouldn't.


Hey guys! This is a little story concerning Caroline II and Wheatley from 'The Misadventures of Caroline II'. This chapter was meant to be the sequel to Chapter 11, but I guess it never made the 'Final Cut'. I decided to upload it separately for those who enjoy these two characters' interactions.

Enjoy!

~Lagiacrus

* * *

During her time in Aperture, I couldn't help but notice Caroline's complete disregard for the unwritten laws of human society. Her behaviour around the other humans was often frowned upon by Chell, her mannerisms were deemed as rude or 'inappropriate', and even GLaDOS had been occasionally taken aback by her eccentric actions. For example, that one time Caroline pranced into Testing Chamber 06 and coated all of the portal surfaces in pink paint had nearly sent GLaDOS into another homicidal killing spree. I often picked up on the other cores complaining about her, stating that she was like a three-year-old – far too carefree to be considered sane. They were ones to talk – one was addicted to space, one was a pompous twant and the last one was a player (and a bloody bad one at that)! Sometimes I felt like I was the only fully functioning core in the facility!

Unlike the others, I had taken to her unusual nature. It wasn't her fault that she had been born into a world with no humans to teach her the differences between right and wrong, with only her half-mute mother to teach her the values of life. Don't get me wrong – personally, I thought Chell had done a _terrific _job – if it wasn't for one small thing…

"What in heaven's name are you _doing, _Luv!?" I screeched. The ruins of Testing Chamber 02 had recently, because of some sort of miracle, become something of a deep pool, complete with a waterfall. GLaDOS had decided it was too beautiful to repair the chamber, so she decided to let nature take hold. Now, it was a brilliant garden, with the little pool to add the icing to the cake. Caroline spent a lot of time there, and she had built a management rail around the garden so I could join her. Of course, I wasn't expecting to arrive through the door and see her standing _completely stark naked _on the bank of the little lake_, _without a care in the world of course. Sergei was already splashing in the water, letting out an unusual robotic laugh that deeply unsettled me. That turret was bloody terrifying…

"Oh, hey Wheatley!" She gave me her usual greeting, with a wide smile. Did she not even notice that she wasn't wearing her clothes!?

"Umm, Darling… where are your clothes?" I inquired and she looked down, as if she had realized they were missing for the first time.

"I was going for a swim!" She perked back up with another smile, and I rolled my optic.

"Don't you humans have any shame?" I groaned, settling at the end of the rail, which offered a nice view of the waterfall.

"Shame? What's that?" She joked, before diving into the pool, sending a miniature tidal wave over Sergei that knocked him onto his back.

"Ow!" He whined.

I couldn't help but admire her. When she resurfaced, her jet black hair now soaked and matted in front of her eyes, I wondered how somebody of her age was able to be so free-spirited and daring. She was the most interesting, unique human I had ever met and I was grateful to the scientists who made me for making me so durable – had I been like some of the other cores, I would have shut down out in space, and I never would have met her…

The very thought made my circuits shudder unpleasantly.

"So, why did you feel the need to swim completely naked?" I asked her, more out of worry that she would catch a cold than anything else.

"Well, why should I not?" She replied, swimming over to Sergei to sit him upright again.

"Well, there are Rules and Regulations that… I suppose I thought humans were meant to follow! I'm pretty sure swimming naked was against them!"

"I've never been taught any rules," She responded. "Besides Mommy, there was nobody to teach me anything. I'm kind of grateful for it – it feels great to have no limitations, no boundaries that can't be crossed." She allowed herself to float aimlessly upon the surface of the water, leaving all of her… _womanly appendages _exposed. I coughed and looked away.

"I feel like I can live life to the fullest. I was born into a world where I'm one of perhaps one hundred surviving humans. There's nothing to stop me doing what I want. I could be a leader, or I could be a complete ass. I could become the next or the next , just depending on what mood I'm in. Every single path is open to me, because the limitations of society vanished with the Combine." She explained, before diving back into the water. I tried to follow her but soon lost sight – and then she emerged underneath the waterfall, and started washing her hair. It was like something out of one of those corny American films that she had forced me to watch – attractive woman, completely naked, and washing herself in a waterfall. It should have been my dream.

"What do you think of it all, Wheatley?" She directed the question at me and I was snapped back to attention.

"P-Pardon, Luv?"

"What do you think? You know, about the near-extinction of us humans? Do you ever miss seeing people in the facility?" She did a small lap around the pool as she spoke.

"Well, if you want my honest answer, I'm perfectly happy with the humans I know, and I'm glad that I got the chance to meet you all. I never miss the old scientists, they were twants… As for what I think about the extinction… honestly I don't know much about how it happened in the first place." I replied and she nodded, deeming my response as acceptable.

"I don't know much about it either, only that it was caused by aliens called the Combine." She said, giving Sergei a splash, causing the turret to giggle in delight and continue thrashing around at a quicker pace than before.

"Anyway, that doesn't change what we were originally talking about," I said, sternly. "W-While I'm not complaining that you're naked, you should be a bit more considerate about other people! That human male probably shouldn't see you like this!"

"You mean Eric?"

"Yes, him!"

"Wait, hang on, reverse… did you just say you're not complaining that I'm naked?" She looked up at me with a devious expression, causing my motherboard to overheat. Quickly, I initiated my ability to lie – not a very sturdy program but it did the job, usually.

"N-Nope, I never said that, you must be delusional! Oho, you and your simple human brain!"

"…You don't mean that, do you?" She said with a laugh, standing up in the centre of the pool and crossing her arms, narrowing her eyes at me with a smirk.

"Of course I mean it! Why on earth would I feel _any _sort of attraction to that weird… curvy… fleshy thing you call a body!?" I spluttered but she simply shook her head.

"Do I need to kiss you again?"

Just then, my motherboard gave up the fight and I overheated, my systems shutting down to prevent damage.

"Jeez, _again, _Wheatley!?" Was the last thing I heard… once again, worth it.

* * *

Huehuehuehuehue.

Admittedly I really enjoy writing these two. I'll need to make sure I include more about them in MOCII2.

~Lagiacrus


End file.
